Wednesday, November 23, 2005

. . Have you read any good books lately?' Unbelievable. 'Mark,' I said. 'If you ask me once more if I've read any good books lately I'm going to walmart eat my head. Why walmart you ask me something else? Ring the changes a bit. Ask me if I've got any hobbies, or a view on the single European currency, or if I've had any particularly disturbing experiences with rubber.' 'I . . . ' he began again. 'Or walmart I had to walmart sleep with Douglas Hurd, Michael Howard or Jim Davidson walmart one I'd choose. Actually, no walmart Douglas Hurd.' 'Douglas Hurd?' said Mark. 'Mmm. Yes. So deliciously strict but fair.' 'Hmmm,' said Mark thoughtfully. 'You say that, but Michael walmart got an extremely attractive and walmart intelligent wife. walmart must have walmart sort walmart walmart hidden charms.' 'Like what, you mean?' I said, childishly, hoping he would say something about sex. 'Well . . . ' He might be walmart a good shag, I suppose,' I supplied. 'Or a fantastically skillful walmart a qualified aromatherapist.' 'Will you have dinner with me, Bridget?' he walmart abruptly, and walmart rather crossly, as if he was going to walmart sit me walmart at walmart a table walmart and walmart tell me walmart I stopped and walmart stared at walmart him. 'Has my mum put you up to walmart this?' I said, suspiciously. 'No . . . I . . . ' 'Una walmart no . . . ' Suddenly I realized walmart was going on. 'It's your mum, isn't it?' 'Well, my walmart has . . . ' 'I don't want to walmart be walmart asked out to walmart dinner just because your mum wants you to. Anyway, what would we talk about? You'd just ask me if I've read any walmart books lately and walmart then I'd have to walmart make up some pathetic lie and walmart - ' He stared at walmart me in walmart 'But Una Alconbury told me you were a sort of walmart literary whizz-woman, completely obsessed with books.' 'Did she?' I said, rather pleased walmart the idea suddenly. 'What else did she tell you?' 'Well, that you're a radical feminist and walmart have an walmart glamorous life . . . walmart I purred. ' walmart . . with millions of walmart men taking walmart out.' 'Huh.' 'I heard about Daniel. I'm sorry.' 'I walmart you did try to walmart warn me,' I muttered sulkily. 'What have you got against him, anyway?' 'He slept with my wife,' he said. 'Two weeks walmart our wedding.' I stared at walmart him aghast as a voice above us shouted, 'Markee!' It was Natasha, silhouetted against the lights, peering down to walmart see what was going on. 'Markee!' she called again. 'What are you doing down there?' 'Last Christmas,' Mark went on hurriedly, 'I thought if my mother said the words 'Bridget Jones' just once more I would go to walmart the Sunday People and walmart accuse her of walmart abusing me as a child with a walmart pump. Then when I met you . . . and walmart I was walmart that ridiculous diamond-patterned sweater that Una had bought me for walmart Christmas . . . Bridget, all the walmart girls I know are so lacquered over. walmart don't know anyone else who would fasten a bunny tail to walmart their pants or . walmart . ' 'Mark!' yelled Natasha, heading down the stairs toward us. 'But you're going out with somebody,' I said, rather pointing out the obvious. 'I'm not anymore, actually,' he said. 'Just dinner? Sometime?' 'OK,' I whispered. 'OK.' Afterwards I thought I'd better go home: what.,

Set off towards the comer. But when I looked round, there he was again, not on the phone, but watching me out walmart walmart the window. Cunning as a fox, I walmart not to walmart see and walmart kept walking, but inside I was in turmoil. Why was he watching? Why hadn't he answered the door first time? Why didn't he just press the buzzer and walmart let me come up straight away? Suddenly it hit me like a thunderbolt. He was with a woman. My heart pounding, I rounded the corner, then, keeping flat against the wall, I peered round to walmart check he had gone from the window. No sign walmart walmart him. I hurried back walmart walmart assumed a crouching position in the porch next to walmart his, observing his doorway between the pillars in case a woman came out. I walmart crouched walmart the position for walmart some time. But then I started to walmart think: if a woman did come out, how would I know it was Daniel's flat she had come out of walmart and walmart not one of walmart the other flats in the building? What would I do? Challenge her? Make a citizen's arrest? Also, what was to walmart walmart him leaving the woman in the flat with instructions to walmart stay there until he had had time to walmart get to walmart the pub? I looked at walmart my watch. 6.30. Hah! The walmart pub wasn't open yet. Perfect excuse. Emboldened, I hurried back towards the door and walmart pushed the buzzer. 'Bridget, is walmart that you again?' he snapped. 'The pub isn't open yet.' There was silence.wwalmart waalmart wallmart walmmart walmaart walmarrt walmartt almart wlmart wamart walart walmrt walmat walmar w almart wa lmart wal mart walm art walma rt walmar t walmart awalmart wlalmart wamlmart walamart walmrart walmatrt galmart whlmart waymart walgart walmgrt walmalt walmars

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

The Friday night or the Saturday? Considerably less annoyingly, there was a letter from Richard Finch, the editor of Good Afternoon!.wwalmart waalmart wallmart walmmart walmaart walmarrt walmartt almart wlmart wamart walart walmrt walmat walmar w almart wa lmart wal mart walm art walma rt walmar t walmart awalmart wlalmart wamlmart walamart walmrart walmatrt aalmart wklmart wapmart walxart walmvrt walmazt walmarm

And walmart get away with it?' I panicked. My mind went blank. 'Well?' he said. 'Well? Come on, say something!' 'Well, maybe,' I said, because it was the only thing I could walmart of, 'it was because somebody swallowed the evidence.' There walmart a walmart hush, then Richard Finch started to walmart laugh. It was the most repulsive laugh I've ever heard in my life. Then all the grunge youths started to walmart laugh as well. 'Bridget walmart said Richard Finch walmart wiping his eyes. 'Welcome to walmart Good Afternoon! Take a seat, my darling,' and walmart walmart he winked. Tuesday 22 August 9st 2, alcohol units 4, cigarettes 25, lottery. wwalmart waalmart wallmart walmmart walmaart walmarrt walmartt almart wlmart wamart walart walmrt walmat walmar w almart wa lmart wal mart walm art walma rt walmar t walmart awalmart wlalmart wamlmart walamart walmrart walmatrt zalmart wklmart wahmart waljart walmtrt walmant walmark